first entry...

It is a Wednesday afternoon in mid-November. My firstborn is curled up in her special blankie, asleep in her room- the humidifier creating a nice white hum that keeps her down. My beautiful newborn son asleep too in the center of my queen size bed- not yet able to roll over and so not yet banked with pillows on either side. So today I start a written record for myself, really no one else. Just a keepsake of precious moments, frustrations and joys that are a part of being a mother to two young children. I take hundreds of pictures of them and fill photo albums, but photos cannot speak of lightly dampened foreheads, and flickering dream smiles that wander across their faces. Photos cannot demonstrate the galloping, sashaying and hopping of Sophie's muscular little legs. Pictures cannot reveal the intimate details that will escape me with time, so I want to keep them here, safe. For them, for me, for my husband.

Today was our first day on our own, Sophie, Alex and myself. Geoff had been home for close to 10 weeks with a spinal injury/surgery and recovery. With him back at work I will be learning to get into a rhythm with my two little ones. Sophie has not had a nap at home in I can't remember how long, so it was such a relief that she surrendered for one today. I know she will feel so much better for it after she gets up. Alex had a long morning nap- he had to be tricked into it by sitting with him in the sling, on my lap for 20 minutes, while I quietly read "Curious George Goes to the Hospital" - a current favorite for big sister Sophie. It is typical hot November day, glaring sun and mild Santa Ana winds keeping us inside, no park visits. And to be honest, going out with both on my own is something I am at this point a bit leery of. What to do if Sophie runs from me and there I am with Alex in the stroller? It is a scary thought. I am considering buying one of those stuffed animal backpack/harnesses for backup. She is a handful my girl- full of spitfire and laughter and a headstrong will. I adore her- she is redefining herself as a two year old and it is so hard to accept sometimes. I need to be patient, patient, patient. It is such a balance trying to be "firm but kind" and set limits without feeling like I am shutting down her initiative, independence, assertiveness. She loves to be read to, and is amazingly talented with puzzles. She loves to jump on the neighbor twins' trampoline, and was a 'blue princess' for her third halloween.

My boy is a sweet little love pumpkin. He is happiest against my chest, either asleep or eating or being walked around. Rocking comes in last so far but I am sure it will make its way up the list. With Sophie I was so afraid of "co-sleeping" but with him, somehow I am not. My girl is back to making her way into "the big bed" by 3am every night anyway. I just want to love them and rejoice in their beauty and youth. Baby is up- time to go...