busy

So- I started this entry on January 27th...

Rolling into 2009...

Okay, so I am really feeling agenda driven right now.
With joining the YMCA I am trying to figure out good class options for Sophie and good days for her to take them- tumbling, twinkle toes (beginning ballet), a crafts class, sports fun and fitness. Now that we have the family membership those seems like wonderful outlets for her. It is just a matter of finding the good classes/teachers. Sophie starts her new preschool first week in February. We visited her classroom last week and met her teachers, Alicia and Terry. Soph participated in circle time and toy clean up and snack. She did well and I am hopeful that it will be a good change for her. I need to be careful not to be pushing too many new things at once. Though she loves to be busy and the exercise, it is a lot to take in mentally so I think March will be a good time to start some new stuff at the Y. Have taken sophie for free swims a couple of times now while Geoff has stayed home with Alex. The pool thing with Alex is tricky as he has the tubes in his ears. Soph loves the Y pool, fooling around with the noodles, kickboard and throwing balls into the basketball hoop perched on the side. She seems to have some anxiety about swimming on her own though- almost like she has forgotten that she is capable. It is confounding me- she swam all over ours and Pam's pool all summer but at the Y she panics without the supporting items. Odd. Maybe it is the large size of the pool? ALl the other people/strangers in the water?

Alex has been doing great at his Outside the Box class in Woodland Hills and sat right on the teacher's lap at the end of class last Friday. Octavia is a pretty cool lady and she has a good breadth of knowledge about brain developement and babies, etc. The incessant whining has seemed to end for now- he has been quieter and in better spirits. It was to the day that this whining started- the day he got his 2nd flu shot and the DTAP at his 15 month checkup. His poor leg near the DTAP injection got super hot and red, and stayed swollen for several days.

... and did not quite finish so here I am back three weeks later- February 17th to babble some more about family events/dispositions/issues...

The basics:

went to Big Bear a week and a half ago with Joe Z and Karen. Geoff and Alex and I were upstairs- not 45 minutes after arriving, when Alex took a tumble down the stairs. Geoff immediately sensed something was very wrong- and a trip to the emergency room in the Big Bear community hospital followed. During a 3 hour visit to a very quiet facility- 5 xrays and a CT scan later, it was determined alex had fractured his clavical/collarbone on his right side. Talk about a stressful visit- poor Geoff looked like he was just going to lose his mind. It was exhausting and all, but it could have been much worse. The injury sounds pretty awful but the body heals it by forming a calcium lump over the two fractured parts of the bone. Alex had tyenol with codeine for a couple of days but seemed in pretty good shape and spirits after getting back home. Didn't like how he couldn't seem to hold down food for a couple of days after the fall- we are guessing it was from a concussion. My poor little cupcake- I swear he is such a softie.

Sophie started in the beginning of February at the Weekday Methodist preschool in northridge. She is jazzed and excited to go. Good riddance to the granada preschool- I am so glad we went ahead with moving her. She seems more stimulated and to do more in her new environment. She has not had a nap in several weeks and it is really wearing on all of us. She is not getting enough rest and falls apart by 6pm every day - such a drag. No matter what time she is put in bed she does not seem to conk out until 9:30pm - come what may. She is getting big- eating well and playing hard-loves riding her little two wheeler bike with training wheels out in Oxnard. We need to get her one for down here- I figure I can throw it in the accord trunk and head out to porter ranch park for rides.

Alex is super clingy again- just wants his mom. Lots of separation anxiety going on for him which is tough on me. I mean, a part of me says screw it, just quit work and be his mom. and then the rest of me and for a million other reasons my job is so important and such a benefit to me, and my family too- the extra money- a little adult time, the balance it provides me. I had a big talk with Rachel last week how I am very concerned for her and for him that this is a real issue- and that we need to figure out the best ways to try to redirect him so that he is more happy each time I am away than sad. It was never like this with sophie- she was always so pleased to go with her grammy. His language has not come as far this last month as I really would have liked. So far we have a few words and a dozen animal sounds:

Bottle - ba ba
Mom- ma
Dad- Da
more - mah!!!
cracker - a-eh (note the two syllables)

animal sounds:
dog - ffffff
duck - dack dack
horse - 'neighs' and tosses his head
elephant- a whee sound
owl- hoo hoo
monkey - woo woo
cow- mmmmmmm
sheep - BAAAA! (he is very sure of this one)
cat- mo-ow with a very cute head bow
hen- uck uck (for cluck cluck)
snake - ssss

A few weeks ago I set up the two crib mattresses side by side on the floor of his room. Added a couple of adult pillows, sophie's toddler down comforter with duvet, some well chosen stuffed animals- ta da! Big boy bed. We have a new routine that has been refind over the last couple of weeks. At about 9pm I nurse him to sleep with a "Nature sounds" cd and his overhead light on super super low. Warm up the bed with him for a few after he falls asleep and he stays there on his own- generally till 1:30 am (last night it was the longest so far- til 3:30am!)- then I take him out to the playroom couch for a bottle and then bring him back into the big bed to cuddle with Geoff and I til the morning. It is working out nicely - gives geoff and i some time to be alone together, but Alex still gets his four or so hours of co-sleeping which he so digs. Who wouldn't?

and me? fair. Geoff's 40th birthday is coming up and I was hoping we could go to Vegas for a night, but he is not into it. Would rather use that money toward a dirt bike. His latest thing is that he wants to have a catered party at our house - with food, a server and a bartender- heat the pool. The kids would be around so you know who would be watching/taking care of them- me. Not a good way for me to celebrate such an important event, but frankly I am sensing that it is not really important to him my role in his birthday. Also, we had talked about him taking a trip to NYC with Sophie in April, but now he is backing off of that too- because of money. Even though his dad has jet blue vouchers they could use. I am feeling typical Leo rejection emotions- unwanted, I guess, not desirable. not important to such a marked occasion. 40 is a biggie! Geoff got to see Jane's Addiction at a small club, the Echo, last night in hollywood and had a blast. Wrangled some wristbands to get backstage and met Perry and the gang. Good for him- it is that type of thing that keeps you feeling alive.

Did a cute little valentine's playdate last week- a few crafts, storytime, duck duck goose and cupcake decorating. it was nice for the girls and not such a big deal as far as setup and cleanup. Always good to have rachel around those days for helping - she seems to enjoy it too. Because of Alex's injury - Geoff and I had Valentine's day at home - pasta for dinner and chocolates and big balloons for the kids. It was sweet. We have a date 'afternoon' this Friday- stiff cocktails for happy hour at the odyssey- maybe some dinner at Alessio's in Northridge- have not been there before. Need to be home by 7:30. The later evening hours just get too wearing on Rachel as it is the end of her week and also on Alex - he is ready for mom and dad to be home.

I saw the movie 'Revolutionary Road' last week- boy was it a doozy. Have to really enjoy those rare moments with your spouse when you can. They are lifelines.

Daily struggles remain- trying to feel okay about the state of the housekeeping, constantly picking up and wiping down. Worried about Alex not eating enough of good things. Feeling guilty for not teaching both kids enough. Always needing to remind myself of those three things I want to be/do for them- love, laugh, teach. My car is a disaster of sippy cups, sweaters, baby blankets, books, old paper towels, odd receipts and papers from preschool, scratched sunglasses. Stress over not feeling connected to geoff. He seems on another planet- always so beat up from work he seems to just get changed and fall onto the couch to watch TV like some old cliche. Just hating cooking dinner- it is my nemesis right now as Geoff does not seem to like anything I make. Another dent in the housewife ego. Swam 30 minutes of laps at the Y yesterday on my own. felt great- if only I could work out for 45 minutes each day I would feel like a million bucks. It has gloriously been raining- dampening this dry, hard California soil. I wish it would rain for two months - fill up the reservoirs and grow vegetation on those burned valley hillsides. I miss my sister. she is in another solar system right now, cycling around a big existential conversation...