time outs

It has been a busy month. We finished up gymnastics classes at Le Club, Dad came out for a dinner visit on his way up to Carpinteria, I took sophie to see the Three Little Pigs for a second time. This time I was prepared with a charged up camera and took several video clips of key scenes for her to watch again and again on the computer. Which she has- just adores Polly the pig. I splurged and bought two tickets to a Playhouse Disney live performance at the Kodak theater for the end of September. This girl is geared up to be a patron of the arts.



Last night I went to see a concert with my sister at the Nokia theater - Death Cab for Cutie. Now, we have been fans of theirs for a LONG time- like 4 or so records ago. The first place we saw them was at Spaceland- a small-ish club in Silver Lake with an awful smokers' room on the second floor. Tiny. This Nokia theater was packed and was just enormous. I was pretty overwhelmed at the sheer popularity of one of our once indy sweetheart bands- they were wonderful and definitely were worth the $40 tickets. About 3 songs in they played a tune from eons ago and I welled up as it tapped into a deep memory pocket. So long ago - it felt- like another lifetime - before kids. Going to shows like this pretty much rocks me as I am brought back into memories and feelings I used to be- I used to have. I feel so deeply ensconced in parenthood and calculating details of daily existence- it didn't used to be like that.



I would come out of a show like that more than a little buzzed, damp scalp from bopping along with the rhythm section. I squeezed my sister hard and longed for the days when this was the norm- our existence- a tighter friendship and room for roomy conversations. I miss her, I miss Geoff, I miss myself. It really feels like two selves- now that sophie is 3 I realize it has been a while that I have been in caretaker/mommy mode. I said a couple of nights ago to Geoff that I am feeling a bit the 'hamster in the wheel' moving from sink to dishwasher, migrating breast pump and laptop into the car for the weekly work outing, pasting up the Dora toothbrush and wet wiping bottoms, washing the clothes and dustbusting up the cat sand from our still 'only one' functioning bathroom. I love them more each day - Sophie is becoming so independent in wanting to do things herself. Alex is "mamamamama" all day long and so loud! He is all over the place doing his special crawl- he pulls up his right foot and uses that leg to mock walk as his left knee gets dragged along. He is so blonde too- seems to just keep getting lighter that hair.



We had four day weekend in Denver a couple of weeks ago that was really terrific. I am so happy that Brian and Dena got to meet Alex and that Sophie got to see her cousins. She has some pretty awful behavior though- mostly just not listening- defiant. Dena and I had a pretty big heart to heart and I welcomed her input and advice on what she was seeing in my girl. Since we have been home she has been getting timeouts left and right and realizing that when I tell her something or ask her to do something I mean it and that I am not messing around. She, Alex and I went out to visit my mom a couple of days ago. Instead of her staying there and sleeping over, I played disciplinarian and we set up a new boundary there. No more sitting on grammy's lap during mealtime- she needs to stay in her own chair. Dena explained how Sophie has too much control and that she wants to be contained. She keeps pushing limits and being defiant of me because I simply have not put up the signs to really end her misbehaving. There is a zero tolerance policy of hitting or pushing Alex. I set up a new sticker reward poster for when she is nice to alex- cuddles him or shares a toy, she gets a sticker. It worked like a charm for potty training so I am hoping the same will ring true with this situation.



It is like every new environment- Brian's house, Tiny Town, mom's house, she needs reminding that the same rules apply everywhere- that she has to obey when mom says so. I am definitely bad guy and she doesn't like being bossed around so much, but the timeouts do seem effective at stopping her in her tracks- slowing down and thinking about why she is in her naughty spot. Fun, fun fun. It has taken a lot of energy being bad guy but I know it is worth the work for both of us. Actually, I am seeing improvements already. I think.

Alex is still in the big bed with us- nursing at least twice during the night. He is my little scamper- getting into all the cabinets, trying to get everything he can into his mouth. He seems to like the pool but after some splashing about he gets a very serious look on his face as if to say, "I am a creature that belongs on firm land." I need to try and start getting him to sleep a few hours in his own crib- that will require a nightly bath I believe. A new routine- more work!
he is a happy little child- happy to amble about, turning things upside down, trying to get his busy hands on Luna in the early morning hours in the bed, playing hard with Rachel. He has started clapping a bit and is definitely pointing. I have heard the mama sound a lot, some dada, some tey tey and a 'p' sound briefly a couple of days ago. He loves to pull himself up with the help of sophie's chair/booster seat and she just hates it. He pulls her hair too- I am convinced that is just a major sign of affection from him, but I chide him just the same for 'bad behavior' so that Sophie sees they are treated the same when it comes to some things.

We had a crazy heat wave for about five days (temps up to 109!) that has finally broken. It is nice and cool enough that I can take the little ones to the park tomorrow, finally. The pool has been delicious and Sophie has loved chugging around on her own in her little floaty swim vest thingy. She is a natural in the pool and took her first night swim with Dad over this last weekend. Doesn't get better than that for a 3 year old, right??