I can't believe it has already a month minus three days since I last wrote a post. It has been a very draining month- the last week in June we got in a new round of workers/contractor to come in and do some finish work that has been looming over us for so long now it is not even funny. After Geoff and Joe moved all living room and playroom furniture into the garage, the first day 3 guys came and started a bench for the pool area out of the extra Trex decking material we had left over, and pulled up our existing laminate- the underlayment and the plywood boards that had expanded and caused the whole flooring mess to begin with. The contract includes framing and drywall of our new half bathroom (exhaust fan too) and closet, minimal electrical work, painting and trim EVERYWHERE except the kids bedrooms and our existing bathroom. Laying of the new "Applewood Pergo Presto" laminate floor that is due to be delivered at any moment. They are also finishing the tile work in the new master bathroom.
It has been an arduous time. For the most part, it has been one guy, Walter, doing most of the painting, drywall repair and floor prep. He is hysterical- sober for 4 years, total loadie out of Topanga backwoods dude. Of course, the state of the house, workers showing up in the afternoon, etc. has caused lots of tension between geoff and I. My joints are sore from pounding the miles out on the old white tile floor in the kitchen. The patio has been littered with the rug from the playroom, plastic play food and drying bathing suits for weeks now. The most benevolent place to be is the pool. I put alex in the ring floater and sophie in her vest and there we are- spending the afternoons. The pool has been absolutely delicious, I swim laps back and forth pushing Alex and singing to him. Our bedroom was painted over the weekend- 3 walls in a coffee color and one a deep siren blue/gray remniscent of clapboard shuttered houses on the eastern coast. We plopped our mattress down in the middle of the nursery and there we slept under the rickety overhead fan, waiting for the paint fumes to thin.
Last Tuesday the nanny walked in and essentially quit. She said that she had hurt her back carrying Alex- with the furniture being mostly gone she has not had supportive places to sit. And again she got Alex's virus. So the back, the cold, the construction work environment all got to her and she came to work and announced- "I just can't do this anymore." Shock. disbelief. 7 months of trust built slowly over time just out the window. At first I was just silenced. I told her I would pay her for the previous day- but then I stopped and asked her to sit down so that we could talk about it. I basically gave her a day to think over my proposition- take this and next week off to rest and recuperate and for us to talk halfway through to see how we were both feeling. I swear I stopped eating for two days I was so jacked up inside. I mean, just the way she approached it was so immature. She could have said - "listen, I hate to do this to you but I need to go to the doctor and find out what is going on with my back- I hurt it yesterday carrying the baby. I am overwhelmed by the construction this last month, and need some time off unexpectedly. Is there a way that you can find help for a couple of weeks so that I can get better? what are our options?" And to have treated this as a team situation instead of nanny vs mommy. Geoff says it is just an age/experience thing. Last week I found a bright spot- a listing in Craigslist and had an interview Thursday with a very charming girl- 25, surfer, confident- strong, needs part time work as she does photography on the side. Geoff interviewed her tonight after an odd weekend of her being incommunicado. Had a flurry of long-winded emails today with Rachel and now need to decide what to do. It is just nerve-wracking I tell you.
It is the next morning. Could not go back to sleep after Alex woke to nurse at about 4:40am- too much to think about it. After much hand wringing, I decided happily to hire Tara- I think it is for the best. Would like to preserve the relationship with Rachel and am going to see if she is still up for Saturday night babysitting. I hate to have her just disappear from the kids' lives completely with no notice- that was the last thing I wanted in all of this. That was the whole point of committing to a year together- not being surprised halfway through the timeframe with a walkout. Tara sounded happy to accept the job and starts next week. Training a new person should be interesting, as the kids' needs have changed quite a bit from six months ago. It is a fresh start and I am hoping that it turns out to be the best decision for all of us.
My little boy is finally growing fond of his grammy now that he has had some real face time with her. Me being physically out of the room is key for him to bond with others. If I am there, it is all about mom. Mom calls me his north star- always scanning, scanning- where did she go? Oh he is just a love boy and getting to be truly fun. He stood on his own twice for a couple of seconds yesterday, (when I was not there) is grabbing the spoon from me to self feed. He is like his mama- loves the carbs- biter biscuits, chunks of bread, animal crackers. He is so blonde from being out in the pool - it is just startling how light his hair has become. Not napping particularly well most days, of course still sleeps best next to the boobs.
My girl is growing more independent- still struggling with her brother but there is some playing together and sharing. Mom says I really need to involve her more with his care- letting her feed him, encouraging the hugs, handing me diapers etc. She set up a little "carrot/stick" system this morning with pistachios. Soph started out with 10 pistachios. Each time she cried or said no to mom, one nut would be taken away from her pile. It only took taking away a single pistachio for her to get it. The reverse way is to start a pile of some goody in the morning for good things she has done with her brother- sharing, helping, etc. I hear that the current count is 3 remaining. I think she gets to eat whatever remains after dinner. I am thinking I will buy a couple of bags of mini m & m's to give this a try at home.
I am wiped out- it is hot up here in mom's office and I am hungry. enough for now...
It has been an arduous time. For the most part, it has been one guy, Walter, doing most of the painting, drywall repair and floor prep. He is hysterical- sober for 4 years, total loadie out of Topanga backwoods dude. Of course, the state of the house, workers showing up in the afternoon, etc. has caused lots of tension between geoff and I. My joints are sore from pounding the miles out on the old white tile floor in the kitchen. The patio has been littered with the rug from the playroom, plastic play food and drying bathing suits for weeks now. The most benevolent place to be is the pool. I put alex in the ring floater and sophie in her vest and there we are- spending the afternoons. The pool has been absolutely delicious, I swim laps back and forth pushing Alex and singing to him. Our bedroom was painted over the weekend- 3 walls in a coffee color and one a deep siren blue/gray remniscent of clapboard shuttered houses on the eastern coast. We plopped our mattress down in the middle of the nursery and there we slept under the rickety overhead fan, waiting for the paint fumes to thin.
Last Tuesday the nanny walked in and essentially quit. She said that she had hurt her back carrying Alex- with the furniture being mostly gone she has not had supportive places to sit. And again she got Alex's virus. So the back, the cold, the construction work environment all got to her and she came to work and announced- "I just can't do this anymore." Shock. disbelief. 7 months of trust built slowly over time just out the window. At first I was just silenced. I told her I would pay her for the previous day- but then I stopped and asked her to sit down so that we could talk about it. I basically gave her a day to think over my proposition- take this and next week off to rest and recuperate and for us to talk halfway through to see how we were both feeling. I swear I stopped eating for two days I was so jacked up inside. I mean, just the way she approached it was so immature. She could have said - "listen, I hate to do this to you but I need to go to the doctor and find out what is going on with my back- I hurt it yesterday carrying the baby. I am overwhelmed by the construction this last month, and need some time off unexpectedly. Is there a way that you can find help for a couple of weeks so that I can get better? what are our options?" And to have treated this as a team situation instead of nanny vs mommy. Geoff says it is just an age/experience thing. Last week I found a bright spot- a listing in Craigslist and had an interview Thursday with a very charming girl- 25, surfer, confident- strong, needs part time work as she does photography on the side. Geoff interviewed her tonight after an odd weekend of her being incommunicado. Had a flurry of long-winded emails today with Rachel and now need to decide what to do. It is just nerve-wracking I tell you.
It is the next morning. Could not go back to sleep after Alex woke to nurse at about 4:40am- too much to think about it. After much hand wringing, I decided happily to hire Tara- I think it is for the best. Would like to preserve the relationship with Rachel and am going to see if she is still up for Saturday night babysitting. I hate to have her just disappear from the kids' lives completely with no notice- that was the last thing I wanted in all of this. That was the whole point of committing to a year together- not being surprised halfway through the timeframe with a walkout. Tara sounded happy to accept the job and starts next week. Training a new person should be interesting, as the kids' needs have changed quite a bit from six months ago. It is a fresh start and I am hoping that it turns out to be the best decision for all of us.
My little boy is finally growing fond of his grammy now that he has had some real face time with her. Me being physically out of the room is key for him to bond with others. If I am there, it is all about mom. Mom calls me his north star- always scanning, scanning- where did she go? Oh he is just a love boy and getting to be truly fun. He stood on his own twice for a couple of seconds yesterday, (when I was not there) is grabbing the spoon from me to self feed. He is like his mama- loves the carbs- biter biscuits, chunks of bread, animal crackers. He is so blonde from being out in the pool - it is just startling how light his hair has become. Not napping particularly well most days, of course still sleeps best next to the boobs.
My girl is growing more independent- still struggling with her brother but there is some playing together and sharing. Mom says I really need to involve her more with his care- letting her feed him, encouraging the hugs, handing me diapers etc. She set up a little "carrot/stick" system this morning with pistachios. Soph started out with 10 pistachios. Each time she cried or said no to mom, one nut would be taken away from her pile. It only took taking away a single pistachio for her to get it. The reverse way is to start a pile of some goody in the morning for good things she has done with her brother- sharing, helping, etc. I hear that the current count is 3 remaining. I think she gets to eat whatever remains after dinner. I am thinking I will buy a couple of bags of mini m & m's to give this a try at home.
I am wiped out- it is hot up here in mom's office and I am hungry. enough for now...
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